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I
often watch the videos of priest Dominic LeRouzès, with homilies
full of teachings and faith. Like Pope Francis, he always recommends
that we bear witness to our spiritual experiences, to give strength
to the missionary Church. I'm sure people reading this will remember
similar experiences they have had. Graces are distributed profusely
to all. We lack the attention to recognize them. Even in suffering,
we receive graces.
I
need to record all this, also to be able to read it again, as a
reminder.
~~~~~~~~
December
13, 2020: why this rain of hearts - literally? Just before his sudden
illness before being hospitalized... "How
difficult it is for me to fathom your thoughts, O God! How vast is
their sum total!"
(Psalm 139:17).
~~~~~~~
O,
Immaculate Heart of Mary, take care of us.
She
takes care. I had several signs which I interpreted as being Her
presence, during the time of suffering, when Léo was in the hospital
and during the postmortem saga. I took note... everything is kept on
my computer and in my heart.
~~~~~~~
I
share here some more recent memories, as a testimony of faith.
~~~~~~~
December
3, 2021: Guardian angel and Christmas tree
I
was extremely anxious, because of documents I had to send correctly,
and I felt abandoned, alone. So I begged my guardian angel to help
me, to accompany me.
Leaving
the Canada Post office, inside a pharmacy, already halfway through
the necessary procedures, I saw many people in the aisle where there
were Christmas decorations. I went there to see if there was anything
that interested me. I had a start, in surprise, the first thing which
I saw was a small angel where it was written: “I think of you”.
Apart from the little angels with the poster "Glory to God in
the highest" we used to put above the caves of
Christmas nativity scenes, in the time of my childhood, I had never
seen Christmas decorations with an inscription. I had no doubts, I
bought it. I think it was my guardian angel who led me there, to show
me that he was with me.
To
top it off, when I told this story to my sister-in-law, when I showed
her the little angel, she noticed a little Christmas tree he is
holding, which I hadn't seen before. And she reminded me that I found
it odd that Léo did not go to buy the Christmas tree (he bought one
every year), for Christmas 2020, which he unfortunately spent in the
hospital... Did he have already an intuition? Was he feeling already unwell? And he didn't tell me... I didn't dare to have one in 2021
either. But the little angel brought me the tree.
~~~~~~~~~~~
March
26, 2022: Baby Jesus
The
story of Saint Faustyna moved me, I am enchanted by her mystical
experiences. The explanations that the Child Jesus gave her on
“spiritual childhood”, in adulthood, touched me so much! Because
I remember the trust I had in God when I was a little girl. It was
total abandonment. I wanted to experience this attitude again, but it
is so difficult! I also wanted to hold baby Jesus in my arms and hold
him close to my heart, like she did.
The
diary of Saint Faustina says:
"(...)
when Mass began, a strange silence
and joy filled my heart. Just then, I saw Our Lady with the Infant
Jesus, and the Holy Old Man [St. Joseph] standing behind them. The
most holy Mother said to me, Take My Dearest Treasure, and She handed
me the Infant Jesus. When I took the Infant Jesus in my arms, the
Mother of God and Saint Joseph disappeared. I was left alone with the
Infant Jesus. 609 I said to Him, “I know that You are my Lord and
Creator even though You are so tiny.” Jesus stretched His little
arms out to me and looked at me with a smile. My spirit was filled
with incomparable joy." (Divine
Mercy in my soul, 608)
I
fell asleep with this good feeling, imagining the baby Jesus in my
arms. What audacity on my part, but it was so good to think of
that...
The
following Sunday (March 27, 2022), it was my day to help at the
entrance of our parish, to distribute the mass booklet to the
parishioners. I arrived a little earlier, as requested.
The
artist who sings and plays the guitar during Mass always practices,
before the beginning of the celebration, with the songs that will be
performed. That day he sang a song that was not part of the
liturgical repertoire, something that I have not seen happen on other
occasions.
The
melody sounded familiar...yes, I had heard it before, but I couldn't
remember the words, and I didn't understand them very well, from
where I was. The only sentence I understood was: “Prend
un enfant dans tes bras (Take a
child in your arms)”. In
fact, I later checked on the internet for the correct words and found
"Prendre un enfant dans ses bras (Taking
a child in the arms)", but something made me understand the
sentence in the imperative.
It
impressed me a lot. Why did he sing this song? My interpretation was
that I should imagine that I was holding baby Jesus in my arms when I
received Communion. I took this event as an immense grace received
from Divine Mercy.
The
song is beautiful, moreover, I put a link at the end of the text.
~~~~~~~~~
Divine
Mercy always... The encounter!
This
time it was Mercy Sunday and the previous Saturday, I watched the
videos of Father Dominic LeRouzès' homilies (links at the end of the
text).
During
his Saturday homily, the priest tells us about the difficulty the
apostles had in believing in the risen Jesus. Not just Thomas. Thomas
dared to say that he would not believe if he did not see Him, if he
did not touch Him. Thomas is our “twin”, of all of us. The other
apostles also believed only when they saw Him. There's a good side to
that, that they weren't inclined to believe everything. And even if
they saw Him, they did not recognize Him until He broke bread, as He
had done before, and when He ate something, to show that He was not
not a ghost. Jesus “breathed” the Holy Spirit upon them (even
before Pentecost) to open their understanding. He explained
everything again, according to the Scriptures, and sent them out to
make disciples of all nations.
The
priest also explains that many active Catholics – even priests and
bishops! - have this difficulty in confessing the Living Jesus today.
They accept it intellectually, through studies, reason, but they have
not had an “encounter” with the risen Jesus, to perceive Him in
their hearts. Not necessarily a meeting like the one with the
apostles. It can be an event, a sign, a je ne sais quoi, which really
makes us perceive Him. And we cannot make this encounter by
ourselves, says the priest. It is Jesus who gives us this grace.
Listening
to this homily, I remembered that I had already had an encounter with
Jesus, I felt privileged... How easy it is to fall into the traps of
vanity! Afterwards, I thought about it, recovering the humility that
had escaped me... It was not an encounter with the Risen Jesus, it
was with Jesus in his Passion, in the episode of the Crown of Thorns.
Empathy
with Jesus suffering is more within our reach, because we too suffer,
it is in our nature. This is why Jesus wanted to suffer as a man, to
be within our reach. I had this empathy and it was very strong – an
“encounter” with the Virgin Mary and Jesus – it was a grace
received (see Rebounding love, in Related links, at the end).
But
the Resurrection is beyond the reach of our natural state. It's
something impossible for us, by ourselves, it's outside of our
parameters. So it's very hard to believe! However, I had an enormous
desire to have an “encounter” with the risen Jesus, a sign that
would make me perceive His presence.
The
next day, I no longer thought about it. The idea of this encounter
had already passed into the realm of the improbable.
While
walking in town, I wanted to know a place that I see at the end of
streets crossing the avenue that I often take. Since the snow has
melted, the green is clearly visible, it looks like a park. I turned
the corner, heading towards the green field. Quiet streets, almost no
traffic, conversations here and there escaped through the windows of
houses that are already open for spring.
It
didn't take long and I was in front of a kind of amusement park. On
one side, no one in a large square full of trees in shades of green
still shy, but already in contrast with the rest of the city, which
is dragging the traces of the relentless winter. Several inviting
park benches and paths between the trees made me imagine children
running around and laughing. But the voices of children came from the
other side, where little boys and little girls ran happily, without a
ball, on a football field, while their parents watched them, a little
further.
I
was curious to know the name of the place. Here in Quebec, there is
no shortage of information panels and posters, which I really
appreciate. The sign announced the name of the park - Parc des
Loisirs Christ-Roi - and what was not allowed there.
Well,
I was satisfied with my walk, I went home.
I
hurriedly checked my messages on the Internet and, yes, there was one
from a friend/cousin (Rowena), from Vitória in the state of Espírito
Santo, Brazil, indicating the link to access the closing of the Feast
of Nossa Senhora da Penha (Our Lady of Penha). She knows that I like
to see them very much, they are beautiful and inspiring festivities,
with crowds of the faithful, in the beautiful landscape of the city.
I
quickly turned on the computer, to see if I could still catch
anything, and with amazement and wonder I got the explanation of what
had just happened to me - the "encounter"!!! It takes me
time to understand these things, I am not yet experienced in this
field. Divine Mercy ends up giving me alerts, as if shaking me: “wake
up!!!"
When
I joined the festivity, the crowd was singing this piece of music:
"And when the eternal day dawns, with the full vision, we will
resuscitate to believe in this life hidden in the bread". Then,
the bishop emeritus took the floor and said: “Let it be our joy,
the encounter with the risen Lord” (see link at the end). It was
then that I understood, as if a blindfold had been removed from my
eyes, and it gave me a mystical shock! Even the word “encounter”
has been said! I had just encountered “my Lord and my God”, at
the “Christ-Roi” (Christ the King) park!!!
~~~~~~~
A
question that always worries me: would it be better to keep these
facts just for me? And the need for testimony? I have heard many
priests recommending to share our spiritual experiences. The fear of
being considered crazy, that one doesn't bother me much, because we
all are a bit. Anyway, we must be vigilant not to let ourselves be
carried away by the vanity of thinking that we are privileged,
because these events are not our merit, nor our privilege, graces are
given to everyone - the problem is that, most of the time, we don't
ask for graces and we don't recognize them. But neither should vanity
be confused with the “joy of the encounter”... this joy of the heart,
which “comes out through the mouth” cannot be condemned, I think.
~~~~~~~
Related
links:
Prendre
un enfant
Diary:
Divine Mercy in my soul
Homélie
Pe. Dominic LeRouzès 23 avril
Homélie
Pe. Dominic LeRouzès 24 avril
Rebounding
love
"E quando amanhecer... "🎵🎶
Encerramento da Festa da Penha
Religion
