- What leads you to witness your faith in your most recent texts?
- The year I turned 60, five
years ago, was a milestone for me. It was my first year of retirement, still
not sure if I wanted to go back to work. I had some health problems, supposedly
related to age. My mother was very weak, and I was unable to go to see her,
living too far; she died later that year. I was very distressed by everything
that was happening. I started praying every day and reading a lot about matters
of faith, something I didn't do before. It was a therapy, it had an amazing
effect – the cry of the miserable was heard [4].
Since then, I have had moments of intense faith in my heart. My faith grew. I
sought to have the fear of God (which is different from being afraid) and,
also, my devotion to the Virgin Mary had an impressive increase. I think it's
important to share my experience because, regrettably, having faith is falling
out of fashion. And I think that, in this fall of faith, the humanity is
the one who falls.
- What do you mean, fear of God? Are you afraid of being punished by
Him?
- It's not like that. The
fear of God is an intellectual experience, perhaps better to say spiritual; it
is like sensing the greatness of God as deeply as we can, to the point of
feeling ourselves miserably small, without any merit, in the face of divine
power. Not necessarily because of having committed any particular sin. Indeed,
we don't lack sins. We are like chicken's feet perched, we are attached to sin.
In order to release them from the perch, chickens have to activate the extensor
muscles of the fingers, to open and release them. The difference is that, for
them, this effort is almost automatic, not for us.
- Is there any technique to achieve this state of fear of God, so to speak?
- I don't know. For me, it
was necessary to put the thought deep within myself, in prayer, to try to feel
(I cannot find a better verb than to feel) that mercifully overwhelming
Presence. The "phenomenon" does not happen with the senses and pleasures
that we usually know in us.
- Do you always "feel that presence"?
- In my case, unfortunately,
it is not an experience that remains constant, it happened on certain occasions
when I focused on prayers. I still have faith, stronger than I had before, when
it was apparently in a latent mode. Anyway, I don't want, never more, to lose
the possibility of that powerful Goodness that swept my soul. Our Lady's
presence in my life, on the other hand, is very close, constantly.
Without forgetting the assistance of my Guardian Angel; I don't leave him
alone, always praying for him to help me 😇
- When externalizing these experiences, don't you think that people will
find it strange or, at least, that you get carried away by beliefs?
- I don't care about what
people think about it anymore. On the contrary, I work with myself so that
these experiences do not perish. I feel that I need to get rid of any seed of
arrogance, even if it is tiny. I will not be wiser, more scientific or more
intelligent, if I deny or negotiate the faith, to be in tune with the world
around me. Closing our hearts to faith is not a good fit.
- Is the world around you favourable to your belief? Do you feel welcome
when you talk about your faith?
- No. The world is
increasingly losing faith in God. The worst is that there are people who
consider themselves “owners” of the faith, but do not cultivate it;
intellectuals, people who studied theology, even the clergy. But they lost the
fear of God; in part, because they reduced Jesus to a kind of "facility",
as a mere service to solve problems in this world. It seems overkill, but it
ends up being that. And when we try to highlight what is spiritual, we are
labeled as mushy or even usurpers of the sense of faith.
- Does this attitude intimidate you? Is it discriminatory?
- It intimidates those who
do not yet have a mature personality. And, of course, it is discriminatory. Not
so much in the country where I live, but there are places in the world where
this discrimination is already reaching dangerous levels for those who are
Catholic. This is very sad.
- Should these people shut up to avoid confrontations? For example, do
you expose your thoughts in public? Are you not worried about being accused of
proselytizing?
- Usually, I don't speak in
public. I am not skilled in oratory. I like to write. I always liked it.
Nowadays, faith is the subject that is motivating me the most. Writing, for me,
is a pleasure and a continuous learning. The word is nourished by our thought
and, at the same time, nourishes it; "they
love each other, well pleased with themselves" (In the image and
likeness, poem). When I write, trying to overcome limitations or resistance,
the thought gets wings, go flying... Many times, I understand better a topic
after writing about it. And I like to think that there is a possibility that
someone else will benefit from reading my texts.
- You mentioned the arrogance. What do you mean by arrogance when it
comes to the fear of God?
- For example, thinking we
are too insignificant for the designs of an omnipotent God is arrogance, in my
opinion, although it seems humility.
God is immeasurable; we
cannot evaluate Him by our parameters.
A dangerous arrogance, also
in the guise of humility, is to think that a sin committed may be too serious
for God to forgive. Many turn away from the faith because they find themselves
irreversibly guilty; in a second step, instinctively, they eliminate what makes
them feel guilty and, often, they end up choosing to think that God does not
exist.
Refusing that the fear of
God is a gift from Him is also arrogance; it is not being afraid of God, but
the sense of His magnitude, the awareness of the infinite distance between “le
Tout-Autre” [2]
and us, His creatures. The fear of God is a gift from the Holy Spirit, giving
us an attitude of humility and wonder.
Arrogance is thinking our
universe is so big, huge, with its laws that we barely understand, that it does
not need God... that God does not exist.
- Do you think what prevents someone from having faith is arrogance,
then?
- I think it's one of the
obstacles. Another one would be the attachment to the things of this world, for
example, joys, pleasures, achievements and acquisitions, even attachment to
humanitarian missions. All of this can be concomitant with faith, but
attachment to these things is what gets in the way.
- Could you explain it better?
- I'll give you an example, to be able to
explain better. I have seen people become reticent when it is said the eternity
awaiting us is to be in a state of constant grace, in eternal worship of God,
that this is complete happiness. In the dimension in which we are here, we
cannot imagine what that is, which presupposes detachment from ourselves. It
puzzles and astounds us. People immediately think of the good feelings we have
here, of the achievements... I already had this astonishment myself. It is
difficult to extrapolate and intuit that there can be something infinitely
better and more pleasurable than anything we can perceive from our five senses.
Without, however, underestimating these senses, for we need them to want – to
exercise the famous free will.
- The problems of this world, don't they matter in the field of faith?
- Yes, they do matter. This
world is our passport to eternity. Feet on the perch, or walking in the yard,
or scratching the ground... but we have wings to fly higher than chickens 😃, on the "wings" of the Holy Spirit.
- Don't you think people might judge your attitude arrogant? Or that you
are showing off by announcing that you have an experience of faith?
- I don't think so, because
having faith today is on a downward trend. People are being demoralized for
being a Christian or thought of as crazy, in delusions. It even helps us to be
more humble. In addition, everyone knows that Christians are invited to spread
the faith. It is a treasure that everyone can have. How not to disclose that?
We were supposed to go door to door, announcing the Word of God, but that has
become impossible today because of the mistakes and abuses committed by some
members of the Church. Sadly, it was discredited, generated intolerance.
Fortunately, there is a divine side that no one can take down, as Cardinal
Richelieu allegedly said: "If the
Church were not divine, the popes, bishops and priests would have already
destroyed it".
- In your experience, what would be better to do for someone who wants
to increase his/her faith?
- First of all, asking God
to increase it in us. Then, looking for information on the subject, reading the
Bible and explanations about it and praying a lot! Understanding comes with
frequent prayer, as when we are trying to understand another language. We have
to study and practice. At a given moment, our ears open and we begin to
understand. A precious and sweet “instrument”, which takes us to Jesus, is Our
Lady 🙏. Regarding the fear of God, I suggest a
beautiful and inspired reading [3].
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