segunda-feira, junho 29, 2020

Soliloquy

Em português

En français

- What leads you to witness your faith in your most recent texts?
- The year I turned 60, five years ago, was a milestone for me. It was my first year of retirement, still not sure if I wanted to go back to work. I had some health problems, supposedly related to age. My mother was very weak, and I was unable to go to see her, living too far; she died later that year. I was very distressed by everything that was happening. I started praying every day and reading a lot about matters of faith, something I didn't do before. It was a therapy, it had an amazing effect – the cry of the miserable was heard [4]. Since then, I have had moments of intense faith in my heart. My faith grew. I sought to have the fear of God (which is different from being afraid) and, also, my devotion to the Virgin Mary had an impressive increase. I think it's important to share my experience because, regrettably, having faith is falling out of fashion. And I think that, in this fall of faith, the humanity is the one who falls.
- What do you mean, fear of God? Are you afraid of being punished by Him?
- It's not like that. The fear of God is an intellectual experience, perhaps better to say spiritual; it is like sensing the greatness of God as deeply as we can, to the point of feeling ourselves miserably small, without any merit, in the face of divine power. Not necessarily because of having committed any particular sin. Indeed, we don't lack sins. We are like chicken's feet perched, we are attached to sin. In order to release them from the perch, chickens have to activate the extensor muscles of the fingers, to open and release them. The difference is that, for them, this effort is almost automatic, not for us.
- Is there any technique to achieve this state of fear of God, so to speak?
- I don't know. For me, it was necessary to put the thought deep within myself, in prayer, to try to feel (I cannot find a better verb than to feel) that mercifully overwhelming Presence. The "phenomenon" does not happen with the senses and pleasures that we usually know in us.
- Do you always "feel that presence"?
- In my case, unfortunately, it is not an experience that remains constant, it happened on certain occasions when I focused on prayers. I still have faith, stronger than I had before, when it was apparently in a latent mode. Anyway, I don't want, never more, to lose the possibility of that powerful Goodness that swept my soul. Our Lady's presence in my life, on the other hand, is very close, constantly. Without forgetting the assistance of my Guardian Angel; I don't leave him alone, always praying for him to help me 😇
- When externalizing these experiences, don't you think that people will find it strange or, at least, that you get carried away by beliefs?
- I don't care about what people think about it anymore. On the contrary, I work with myself so that these experiences do not perish. I feel that I need to get rid of any seed of arrogance, even if it is tiny. I will not be wiser, more scientific or more intelligent, if I deny or negotiate the faith, to be in tune with the world around me. Closing our hearts to faith is not a good fit.
- Is the world around you favourable to your belief? Do you feel welcome when you talk about your faith?
- No. The world is increasingly losing faith in God. The worst is that there are people who consider themselves “owners” of the faith, but do not cultivate it; intellectuals, people who studied theology, even the clergy. But they lost the fear of God; in part, because they reduced Jesus to a kind of "facility", as a mere service to solve problems in this world. It seems overkill, but it ends up being that. And when we try to highlight what is spiritual, we are labeled as mushy or even usurpers of the sense of faith.
- Does this attitude intimidate you? Is it discriminatory?
- It intimidates those who do not yet have a mature personality. And, of course, it is discriminatory. Not so much in the country where I live, but there are places in the world where this discrimination is already reaching dangerous levels for those who are Catholic. This is very sad.
- Should these people shut up to avoid confrontations? For example, do you expose your thoughts in public? Are you not worried about being accused of proselytizing?
- Usually, I don't speak in public. I am not skilled in oratory. I like to write. I always liked it. Nowadays, faith is the subject that is motivating me the most. Writing, for me, is a pleasure and a continuous learning. The word is nourished by our thought and, at the same time, nourishes it; "they love each other, well pleased with themselves" (In the image and likeness, poem). When I write, trying to overcome limitations or resistance, the thought gets wings, go flying... Many times, I understand better a topic after writing about it. And I like to think that there is a possibility that someone else will benefit from reading my texts.
- You mentioned the arrogance. What do you mean by arrogance when it comes to the fear of God?
- For example, thinking we are too insignificant for the designs of an omnipotent God is arrogance, in my opinion, although it seems humility.
God is immeasurable; we cannot evaluate Him by our parameters.
A dangerous arrogance, also in the guise of humility, is to think that a sin committed may be too serious for God to forgive. Many turn away from the faith because they find themselves irreversibly guilty; in a second step, instinctively, they eliminate what makes them feel guilty and, often, they end up choosing to think that God does not exist.
Refusing that the fear of God is a gift from Him is also arrogance; it is not being afraid of God, but the sense of His magnitude, the awareness of the infinite distance between “le Tout-Autre” [2] and us, His creatures. The fear of God is a gift from the Holy Spirit, giving us an attitude of humility and wonder.
Arrogance is thinking our universe is so big, huge, with its laws that we barely understand, that it does not need God... that God does not exist.
- Do you think what prevents someone from having faith is arrogance, then?
- I think it's one of the obstacles. Another one would be the attachment to the things of this world, for example, joys, pleasures, achievements and acquisitions, even attachment to humanitarian missions. All of this can be concomitant with faith, but attachment to these things is what gets in the way.
- Could you explain it better?
 - I'll give you an example, to be able to explain better. I have seen people become reticent when it is said the eternity awaiting us is to be in a state of constant grace, in eternal worship of God, that this is complete happiness. In the dimension in which we are here, we cannot imagine what that is, which presupposes detachment from ourselves. It puzzles and astounds us. People immediately think of the good feelings we have here, of the achievements... I already had this astonishment myself. It is difficult to extrapolate and intuit that there can be something infinitely better and more pleasurable than anything we can perceive from our five senses. Without, however, underestimating these senses, for we need them to want – to exercise the famous free will.
- The problems of this world, don't they matter in the field of faith?
- Yes, they do matter. This world is our passport to eternity. Feet on the perch, or walking in the yard, or scratching the ground... but we have wings to fly higher than chickens 😃, on the "wings" of the Holy Spirit.
- Don't you think people might judge your attitude arrogant? Or that you are showing off by announcing that you have an experience of faith?
- I don't think so, because having faith today is on a downward trend. People are being demoralized for being a Christian or thought of as crazy, in delusions. It even helps us to be more humble. In addition, everyone knows that Christians are invited to spread the faith. It is a treasure that everyone can have. How not to disclose that? We were supposed to go door to door, announcing the Word of God, but that has become impossible today because of the mistakes and abuses committed by some members of the Church. Sadly, it was discredited, generated intolerance. Fortunately, there is a divine side that no one can take down, as Cardinal Richelieu allegedly said: "If the Church were not divine, the popes, bishops and priests would have already destroyed it".
- In your experience, what would be better to do for someone who wants to increase his/her faith?
- First of all, asking God to increase it in us. Then, looking for information on the subject, reading the Bible and explanations about it and praying a lot! Understanding comes with frequent prayer, as when we are trying to understand another language. We have to study and practice. At a given moment, our ears open and we begin to understand. A precious and sweet “instrument”, which takes us to Jesus, is Our Lady 🙏. Regarding the fear of God, I suggest a beautiful and inspired reading [3].
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