The month of November is bleak in many places on the planet. In the northern hemisphere, where I live, it is the month we feel the loss of sunlight the most, although the darkness has not yet reached its maximum. The temperature drops considerably and there is still not enough snow to reflect and enhance the light left. In the southern hemisphere, although sunlight is on the rise, it is a time of torrential rain in many regions, which ends up hiding the light.
At the beginning of the month, the commemorations of All Saints and All Souls take place, leading us to reflections on the beyond. Of course, no matter how fervent we are, no matter how much joy we may have developed with the hope in Eternity, we are invaded by sad feelings, reminding us of our loved ones who are gone.
In short, the month of November is lugubrious, in my opinion.
I am having a particularly melancholic year, as I became an "orphan" because my husband died ten months ago. I don't like the word ''widow'' and being an orphan seems to fit my case better. My husband provided everything very carefully and was very protective, so that I became very dependent on him, feeling helpless after his death.
He took very seriously the commitment made in the process of obtaining my Canadian citizenship, to be responsible for me. And he never ceased to be, which he also considered a commitment to marriage. Despite having always been an independent person, I became a happy prey to this love full of care and attention, which I reciprocated as best I could, but he was unbeatable.
We loved each other more and more, the degree of our happiness was higher and higher. As the saying goes, the higher up, the greater the fall. The loss of my love was a huge fall.
But not all are darkness, bitterness, there are also synchronicities and sweetness, to comfort my heart. I used the word synchronicity, which seems to be preferred by many around here, I have noticed that. For this phenomenon, my favorite words are Divine Providence or Consolation, as the case may be. I will tell you one of the Consolations I received.
On All Souls' Day, I thought all day about my husband, even more than every day, and about other dead loved ones; I prayed a lot. His memories are still very intense, as is the feeling of loss. When I left a grocery store that day, what was my surprise to see parked, right next to my car, a pickup truck identical to my husband's, a model that isn't even manufactured anymore. I had never seen another like it before. It was, without a doubt, a huge Consolation, from the sadness I went to a very comfortable feeling of peace.
Carl Gustav Jung would probably have cataloged this case as a synchronicity, interweaving concepts even from quantum physics.
I am a doctor, I greatly appreciate our science – even if it is incipient – respecting human dignity. I reserve the right and the courage to believe in other branches of science, which are still unfathomable to us, other ''instances''. « Le Tout Autre », our Greater Love... without sentimentality, believe me.
God doesn't have sentimentality, but He is merciful, He helps us somehow, when we are « au bout du rouleau », almost without any other recourse... even if it's not to change the course of events, even if it's not a miracle. It is not always possible for us to understand, however, how and why. We all receive Consolations, but we do not always know how to recognize and interpret the delicacies of this Love unknown to our science.
I think that Psychology is the closest study to being able, one day, to scrutinize instances of the soul that are still ignored, in the path of what we call, today, the supernatural. Psychology, in my opinion, will be the most suitable to help to « faire la part des choses », evolving in the clarification of some channels still camouflaged for our myopic eyes.
I am being benefited through the great “luck” – Divine Providence – of having qualified psychologists in the family, who are guiding me through these difficult times, and the precious help of my husband's family and friends here in Québec, as well as from my family and friends from Brazil.
Thank you, everyone! I will never have enough words to say thanks.
Going on with my faith.
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“Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I give you my heart and my soul.”
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